Free For All - The Free Liberal Blog: Goldberg and the Desperate Non Sequitur

August 2008

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Everyone is, of course, entitled to his or her own opinion. Even when they are hateful. Even ignorant. And, I suppose, even when their xenophobia gets pointed at, of all people, the Canadians.

Neocon, boy wonder Jonah Goldberg tests the bounds of decent discourse with this offering in the LA Times. Reading it – even with the open-est of minds – may well lead one to wonder whether neocon Kool Aid is spiked with LSD. That’s how daft this otherwise learned lad sounds to this observer.

In what I hope is at least partially tongue-in-cheek, Goldberg first suggests that the US bomb Canada. He moves on to suggest instead that the Canadian prime minister be beheaded by Islamic terrorists.

The LA Times – one of the nation’s most important newspapers – chose to run this Goldbergian pearl:

“[Canada] bravely contributed to the war in Afghanistan, where 2,300 troops still serve, but refused to join the effort in Iraq, believing that jihadists would honor such fine distinctions.”

Unsourced, but one wonders: Maybe Canada was, for instance, un-persuaded that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. Could it be that our neighbors to the North didn't buy the notion that Iraq posed an imminent threat, to Canadians or to anyone else. It seems kudos are in order for the Canadians, rather than Goldberg’s wrath.

And then, for a textbook definition of the non-sequitur, Goldberg thought this might be a helpful addition to the collective consciousness:

“The frog who carried the scorpion on his back in Aesop's fable was nice. It didn't make the scorpion's sting any less poisonous.

“Indeed, there's good reason to believe that niceness is part of the problem, not the solution. Many Canadians (and Americans and Europeans) cling to a deep-seated belief that more multiculturalism, more interfaith dialogue, more "understanding," more Western apologies, more acceptance of Sharia, more "niceness" will fix the problem.”

Yes, well, now I understand. “Niceness” is bad. Being respectful? Bad. Dialogue? Unforgivable!

But methinks I see the crux of the problem in Goldberg World. He sees “scorpions” (he’d likely refer to them as Islamofascists), and imagines that nations that don’t endeavor to kill the scorpions are somehow enabling them. Imagine young Goldberg in the schoolyard. Across the way, he sees a bully. Young Goldberg attempts to enlist his playmates to roust the bully, but they turn him down. They’d rather just avoid the bully.

Incensed, young Goldberg starts screaming hysterically at his (now former) friends that they are appeasers, even in league with the bully. Don’t they understand that there will never be peace in the playground unless and until they see the bully’s head split open on the pavement?

Canada, Mr. Goldberg, is no frog. They are not carrying the scorpion Islamfascists on their backs. They are, instead, acting like adults, wary – surely – of a small band of crazed extremists, but judiciously using force when it’s appropriate and just.

Is this lesson that hard to learn?

-Robert Capozzi