Getting the Royal Shaft by Euro-Weenies

By Chuck Muth

You're not gonna believe this one: In an international anti-trust case, a European Union court ruled on Wednesday that Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), an American institution, was being unfair to its European competitors and consumers by controlling such a large percentage of the fast-food chicken market in Europe. And to fix this inequity, the court ruled that KFC has to disclose to its competitors the "secret recipe" for making their chicken taste so darn good.

Pretty outrageous, huh? Wait. It gets worse.

Seems KFC's "Value Meals" were ruled unfair, as well. The court ruled that bundling chicken, fries and Pepsi together for a cheaper price was unfair to Cocoa-Cola and other beverages not included in the bundled Value Meals.

According to the court, there are a lot of folks who want a KFC chicken meal...but would prefer to drink Coke instead of Pepsi. But since KFC doesn't carry Coke, the bundled Value Meals were ruled unfair and monopolistic. So the court ordered KFC to immediately begin selling stripped-down Value Meals with no beverages at all included.

Now let's go beyond the outrageous and get to the stupid.

The court's order takes effect pretty much immediately, and here's the practical effect of the order: KFC will now have to begin offering two versions of its Value Meals, one with a Pepsi included and one without a Pepsi included. Now for the kicker: THEY'LL BOTH BE SOLD AT THE EXACT SAME PRICE!

What kind of melon-head, even in France, is going to want to pay the SAME price to get LESS? Duh.

But just for the sake of argument, let's assume you'd prefer a Coke or even a glass of milk with your chicken instead of a Pepsi. OK, fine. For crying out loud, all you have to do is dump the Pepsi and pour yourself a glass of your preferred beverage when you get home. Is this really something to make an international case out of?

But let's get back to stupid.

The court did indicate that, based on the merits of the case, KFC has a darn good chance of winning in the long run on appeal. Nevertheless, it still ruled that KFC must turn over its secret recipe immediately, saying that if KFC eventually wins, then its competitors will have to stop using the recipe in the future, maintaining that KFC would not "suffer serious and irreparable damage" as a result.

Hello, McFly? Does the phrase, "you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube" ring any bells? Good grief.

OK, at this point, I have a confession to make. This didn't happen to KFC (yet). No, but it DID happen to Microsoft. The Euro-court ruled that Microsoft violated anti-trust laws by bundling its Media Player in with other software, even though any consumer who didn't want Media Player could easily use a competing product instead.

And yes, the court did rule that Microsoft has to immediately divulge some of its trade secrets and programming code to competitors while noting that if Microsoft wins on appeal its competitors would no longer be allowed to use those trade secrets. Uh-huh. Sure.

But here's the most outrageous part of all: Some of you reading this were wigged out when you thought the victim was KFC...but are okay with it now that you know the victim is Microsoft. Talk about a double-standard. You should be ashamed of yourselves...and more than a little worried that it might actually BE Colonel Sanders next time.

Chuck Muth is president of Citizen Outreach, a non-profit public policy advocacy organization in Washington, D.C. The views expressed are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Citizen Outreach. He may be reached at chuck@citizenoutreach.com